Roka is one of the first ceremonies that officially kicks off an Indian wedding. It basically signifies that both the bride and the groom’s side have accepted the respective individuals into their families and the wedding is a go. Again, you have to keep in mind that all the Indian wedding details are designed as per a typical arranged marriage where some kind of token is given to the would be bride and groom from their in-laws to kind of seal the deal.
In our case, we were given strict instructions from our parents that all the rites and rituals involved in an Indian Hindu wedding will be observed – no questions asked. Usually this is an understood fact but in our case it was explicitly expressed because we have already chosen the life partner ourselves and denied them the satisfaction of arranging the marriage (sic). Since we both belong to different castes (I am an Kshatriya & he is a Brahmin) hence now there will be two set of rituals to follow Phew! And we are warned that no tantrums will be accepted. So much for a simple & quick love marriage!!!
So, our Roka finally took place after an auspicious date was decided by the family “astrologer”. It was a very simple ceremony where my mom-in-law presented me with beautiful rhinestone laced lac bangles along with an antique silver coin both of which are the age old marriage tradition going on in India albeit with some tweaking. My better half was also gifted silver by my parents as a token of their acceptance of him as their future son-in-law.
By the way the bangles are my prized possession since I have always been kind of a tomboy resulting in a very minimalist accessory collection.
The best part was that my maternal grandmother, fondly called Nani, was also present to bless us. She is my sole surviving grandparent which made her presence even more special for me. Overall it was a simple and sweet ceremony which finally made me and my guy realize that “Yes, we are actually doing it. We are going to get married!!!”
Being an Indian, I have been brought up with the Indian society’s belief systems. One of which is that the approval of family matters. Both me and hubby won’t survive without it since we are co-existent with them. They are our biggest support system. Therefore this Roka was a very important day in my life.
Next stop – Engagement, but that’s also going to happen at the date decided by the “astrologer” sigh… However there are many small and amusing incidences to come in-between because without them any Indian wedding is incomplete!!! All we can do is to brace ourselves and hope for the best. I will keep you updated.
Want to know how I convinced my parents for love marriage then do read my blog on How to convince your Indian parents for a love marriage.